Deadpan Poetry

Mar 30, 2025

Heaven, as It Happens

There is good news.
On the seventh day,
God hit the cosmic like button
and, well—one thing led to another,
and He thinks we should see other realities.

He left a note in the margins of the firmament:
It’s not you. It’s omniscience.

In the new place,
there are no mirrors,
only the knowledge that you are loved
without the need for reflection.

We no longer flinch when footsteps approach.
We no longer arrange our faces
into approachable shapes.

There is no word for deserve here.
No such thing as a second opinion.
All beverages keep the perfect temperature.

There’s been a misunderstanding.
It is not gold that paves the roads,
but a single, unbroken sigh.
And no one’s ever been hit by a car.

Nothing is owned.
Nothing is owed.
The economy collapsed
and everyone applauded quietly
and returned to their gardens.

Suspicion has been archived.
We remember it the way one remembers
wearing shoes that did not fit
and believing it was a personality trait.

We stopped measuring things.
Direction is a feeling now.
Distances collapse politely.

The final evolution is soft,
reversible, and certified compostable.
Everyone remembers being held,
and no one is ever asked what they do.